Unwritten

It’s been a difficult couple of weeks around here.  Tony is officially done with high school and we are taking a couple of days to process that.  On Monday he starts his “college orientation” (that’s what we’re calling it — because, logically, that’s what his big brother did) for his transitional program which he will be in until he’s 21 yrs old.  We are excited, yet anticipating change always makes for a tense environment here.  Although he’s ready for a new routine, sadness overwhelms me at times that high school is over for him and it just wasn’t ‘normal’.  I realize these are my issues, not his, as we stretch into the new routine, paving our way into the unknown.  Who knows where this will take him.  And like most high school seniors, his life is still unwritten.

I’m sharing some lyrics to one of my favorite songs from a few years ago.  Just heard it on the radio this morning and was just so appropriate.  Just another sign that the good Lord is speaking to me, telling me that it’s all going to be ok.  The song could be interpreted in many different ways — if you really stop to think about it.   Maybe it’s talking about our kids with autism and how they can’t get the words from inside their heads to their lips.  They can’t explain what they’re thinking.  They can’t ‘put it into words’…  “drench yourself in words unspoken”… that’s just how my Tony lives.  There’s so many words up in his head and so many conversations going on sometimes… yet he can’t converse.  I can’t imagine how frustrating that is.  Is he waiting for this to go away and be fixed?  or has he already embraced it and is “living his life with arms wide open”?

Maybe it’s talking about us parents — who’s futures are so undefined, unwritten.  It’s like the artist is saying:  go live your life.  Embrace it with arms wide open.  It is what it is.  It’s just beginning.  Go create your story.  No one else can do it for you.  Release your inhibitions – stop letting other things hold you back.  Stop worrying about what everyone else is thinking — just lay it out there and embrace it.  This is YOUR gift.  Go make it worthy.

And that goes for anything –  your job, the business you just started, your kids, your spouse or even your ‘self’ — or your life with autism. 

Below are the lyrics written and sung by Natasha Bedingfield. 
 
You can also click this utube link to hear it played: http://youtu.be/TtGY4G7II6s
 
 
“I am unwritten
Can’t read my mind, I’m undefined
I’m just beginning
The pen’s in my hand, ending unplanned
 
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words
That you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin

No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips

Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

I break tradition
Sometimes my tries are outside the lines
We’ve been conditioned
To not make mistakes, but I can’t live that way, no

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words
That you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin

No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips

Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
Feel the rain on your skin

No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips

Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words
That you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin

No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips

Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
Feel the rain on your skin

No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips

Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

The rest is still unwritten…”

(Copied from MetroLyrics.com)
 
Just some thoughts playing in MY head…
 
Becki
 
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