One step forward, two steps back…

I have started writing this piece for over two weeks now…  let’s just say that summer is here and everything has changed.  It was a very tough transition.  Tony was doing fantastic towards the end of the school year.  We were all holding our breath and really thought that he’d end the year on a positive note.  

He attended my niece Elizabeth’s graduation party down at my parent’s house and had a fantastic weekend.  We were so proud of him!  He was very social, alert, aware and conversational.  It was a huge step forward — we were thrilled.                                                                                                          

 It was a great weekend.  

HOWEVER, when we got back home and back to school, it was another story.  He only had 4 days of school left and I kept wondering if we should just be done.  But every day was good, so we kept going… until that last day.  It was horrible.  Let’s just say that it involved the Crisis Team and unfortunately his Special Ed Teacher took the brunt of his anger.  Not the way I wanted it to end…  I felt horrible and Tony was so remorseful.  Although the remorse is a good thing, but the temper is a very bad thing that even Tony can’t control when his anxiety level is peaked.  That is the daily challenge we face – to help him learn to handle his anger and anxiety. 

So school ended and the summer began.  I’ve had to make certain that he has a schedule to follow and things to do.  I hired my niece, Kelly, to come over two days a week.  It’s been a God-send!  Kelly is so good with Tony.  He loves having her around.  It’s like he has a friend over to hang with — a peer.  It’s so fun watching them talk, and plan their day, and make homemade salsa after a trip to the farmer’s market.  Kelly works as a para during the school year, so she has a lot of experience with autism.  Plus, they grew up together.  Kelly has always been one of Tony’s favorites – and she’s always had a special way with him.   She’s fearless with him – and we love that.  It not only gives me a break, but it allows me to have time alone with Joey.  And time to build my business.  Autism or not, bills still have to be paid, right?  

The stress has been intense for both Dave and I … and Joey.   And even Tony.  He’s missing his older brother (who is living in his college town) and like all things in life, it’s a constant adjustment.  See, that’s the difference between an autistic brain and our brain.  They can’t adjust.  It’s something we all take for granted.  But for someone with autism, it’s something that has to be taught and learned and can take a lifetime to conquer. 

Becki

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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. You are such a good mom. I know it’s hard but know that you are doing a great job! Tony, Joey and Michael are lucky to have you as a mom. (and Dave as a dad)
    xoxoxoxoxoxo

  2. That has to be very hard for the whole family to deal with. He is such a handsome guy. I loved the pictures. I just got back from china. Went to be with Joe when he got married to a Chinese girl. Was a very different wedding. Were there for 10 days. Trying to get back to our time. Its really hard. Think about you often . Take care. Love Dar


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