Couple of rough weeks…

We’ve had some rough weeks around here… major meltdowns, running outside screaming, swearing, slaming doors, breaking things… none of us know how to help him. It’s so frustrating and so mentally exhausting. He seems like he wants to climb out of his skin. He can’t tell us how he feels… so we have to play these guessing games. He’s trying to run from us and just can’t seem to settle himself down. He’s immediately remorseful and sincere when he tells us he’s “so, so sorry”. But then he turns around and does it again a few seconds later.

Even Beau doesn’t know what to do.

Sometimes I just want to hide. Sometimes I just want to pout and scream myself. It stops me in my tracks and puts me in a state where I just can’t seem to focus. Where did my child go? Who is this?

It’s very sad and humbling to admit this, but I do mourn the loss of my son on a daily basis… and I’m reminded on a daily basis of just how different his life is from what I had imagined for him.

Is this the lesson I’m supposed to learn?

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3 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Becki,
    You are amazingly patient, loving, kind and good. I love you and am here for you!

  2. Becki girl,
    Love you so much! You and Dave are such good parents. So good and patient and always doing what you can for Tony and the other kids. I know it’s not easy…we are proud of you and are here for you always! kkhhlymi!
    Lis

  3. My heart goes out to all that deal with an austistic child…Families have to have a loving heart like no one else. Hopefully, the future will bring some some help..In the meantime my prayers go out to them.


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